Classics with One-Star Amazon Reviews

You Can't Please Everyone is a series of posts from Cynical-C about classics (books, movies, albums) with one-star Amazon ratings. Some are funny and some are very, very depressing. Here's a sampling (and [sic] to just about all of these):

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Who the hell is this Mark Twain character?! Simply put: What a lousy novel! Maybe this was his first novel…I don’t know. Anyways, I sure hope he doesn’t plan on writing anything else. I read this book, initially, in the author’s native bulgarian language…and it was even worse! The translator was probably trying to do us a favor by touching up this P.O.S. novel, but I think it would take an act of God to save this text…

1984: i give this book one star i had to read it for class and i know it’s suposed to be a “classic” but god itis awful. first of all its NOTHING like the future is probly going to turn out. second of all every one says the aurthor george orwell is so trippy and wierd but i think he’s just trying to cover up for the fact that HE CAN’T WRITE. please george do us all a faver and stop writing books.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band: This alBUM and the beatles in general are way too over-rated! How can you people say this album is perfect without it having ONE GOOD METAL GUITAR PART! you people need to learn what GOOD music is. I suggest: Dragon Force, Megadeth, and Death Cab for Cutie.

I have to confess, though, I didn't like Catcher in the Rye, either, so I won't criticize anyone else's one-star rating of it.

Thanks to mental_floss for the link.

Secret Room Round-up

As you may have figured out by now, I love secret places in a building. I find articles about them all the time, though most of the time there aren't any photos, so I don't bother passing them along (and most of them are of the "police found drugs in secret room" vein, which I'm decidedly not interested in). Here are some more links and photos of secret rooms and doors that caught my eye:

From Dornob: Modern Secret Rooms and Hidden Doors. I like the stair/door.



Have you ever heard of Chicheley Hall? It was just purchased by the Royal Society, which brought it to my attention.

The most remarkable room is the 'secret' library on the upper floor, with all shelving and books concealed behind what appears to be panelling, thus disguising the room's true use. The interior includes some of the finest woodcarving, joinery and plasterwork in any English country house of its period.

If any of you have ever been there, I would love to see what it looks like inside! I can only find exterior photos online.

Proof that its not just castles that have secret rooms and that wardrobes really can lead to a secret place (even if its just a dusty bedroom). abandoned place... behind my own wardrobe

No photos unfortunately, but this article is about a new home that Richard Dreyfuss (yes, the actor) is building. In addition to being a model for green building/sustainability practices, the home also has planned a "two-story library for Dreyfuss' 15,000-volume book collection, with a hidden panel leading to a secret room." Am I jealous? Yes, yes, I am.

That's it for now. I'd love to hear from you about any secret rooms, etc that you've visited or heard about recently!

Nothing To Say

I seem to have nothing to say these days. Actually, I have lots to say but little inclination to say it. Or type it, especially as the tendonitis in my right arm makes typing painful. Instead, I will leave you with an interesting photo of what happened when a truck met a hydrant outside of my office recently.

Review: The Big Over Easy

So, here’s a story that doesn’t really have anything to get the book, but I’ll tell it anyway. For whatever reason, growing up we didn’t refer to our eggs as being “over easy.” Instead, we referred to our eggs as being “once over lightly.” When I first moved in with my husband, I kept telling him I wanted my eggs "once over lightly" and he kept looking at me like I was a crazy person. It took me a while to get used to calling my eggs over easy instead.

Anyway...

Meet Inspector Jack Spratt, family man and head of the Nursery Crime Division. He’s investigating the murder of ovoid D-class nursery celebrity Humpty Dumpty, found shattered to death beneath a wall in a shabby area of town. Yes, the big egg is down, and all those brittle pieces sitting in the morgue point to foul play.

I wasn’t entirely sure you get much sillier than the Thursday Next books by Jasper Fforde, but he certainly done it with his Nursery Crime series. Someone on Librarything wrote that reading this book was a little bit like watching a Shrek movie and I have to say, I agree. References and allusions go by at a mile a minute. Some of them went right over my head but in general, I caught enough to be amused by the book. The story goes by very quickly which is good, because the plot takes so many twists and turns the book gets rather drawn out. Also, the characters are all very flat - maybe that befits a book based on nursery tales, but it certainly meant that I never really connected on a deeper level with the story. Ford, though, is a great writer and he really knows how to choose his words carefully, making The Big Over Easy very readable and enjoyable.

Buy The Big Over Easy on Amazon.

Review: Midnighters Trilogy

I just finished reading the third Midnighters book by Scott Westerfeld, Blue Noon, and I wanted to write a review of the entire Midnighters trilogy. As I’ve said in the past, Scott Westerfeld has really become one of my go-to authors for a fun read.

When a new teenager, Jessica Day, moves to town, she is shocked to find that her new home town of Bixby, Oklahoma isn’t like other small towns. Unbeknownst to most of the residents, midnight every night the world freezes for an hour when the darklings - mysterious creatures from the past - come out to play. The only people who are awake during the quiet hour are the Midnighters, a group of four teens with special abilities, like mindreading and flying, but only during the special hour. And Jessica is a Midnighter. Now she just has to figure out what her ability is.

In book two, Touching Darkness, the stakes are raised when lives are in danger. Despite their differences the team has to come together to save their own lives and the life of a girl who was captured by the Darklings decades ago.

In book three, Blue Noon, the story intensifies as it becomes clear to the Midnighters that the danger is spreading. If they don’t find some way to protect the people of Bixby, the whole town, and maybe more, could be killed by the Darklings.

These are great books for younger readers and I found them to be fun to read, too. The Midnighters books didn’t have quite the same depth as Westerfeld’s Peeps (my review) or Uglies series. But I enjoyed them for what they are – interesting, fun, intriguing, and engaging.

Buy Midnighters #1: The Secret Hour on Amazon.
Buy Midnighters #2: Touching Darkness on Amazon.
Buy Midnighters #3: Blue Noon on Amazon.

Free Women of the Otherworld Stories

For those of you who are either a) completists* or b) trying to see if the Women of the Otherworld series is worth diving in to, series author Kelley Armstrong has a ton of short stories on her website that you should check out. (See my previous post here.) Here are a few links to get you started:

Rebirth
Infusion.
Demonology
Birthright

Probably the easiest way to navigate to all the short stories is to visit the Wikipedia page for Women of the Otherworld, here.

* completist kəmˈplētist - noun, an obsessive, typically indiscriminate, collector or fan of something. Example: me.

Review: Dime Store Magic, Industrial Magic & Haunted

I have written in the past about buying several books in the Women of the Otherworld series by Kelley Armstrong. The first two books in the series, Bitten and Stolen, focus on the world's only female werewolf, Elena. As I've said before, I enjoyed these books, especially Bitten, which prompted me to buy the next three books in the series: Dime Store Magic, Industrial Magic, and Haunted. These books focus on witches, and Elena and the other werewolves play only minor roles.


Dime Store Magic

... Paige [is] just an ordinary twenty-something who runs her own website design company, worries about her weight and wonders if she’ll ever find a boyfriend. Okay, so she’s leader of the American Coven and guardian of Savannah, the teenage daughter of a black witch. Really, life is ordinary. But then a telekinetic half-demon, Leah O’Donnell, shows up to fight for custody of Savannah. And although Paige is ready for her, she’s not quite so prepared for the team of supernaturals that Leah brings with her, including a powerful sorcerer who claims to be Savannah’s father.

When all hell breaks loose -- literally -- and Paige is accused of witchcraft, Satanism and murder, the Coven, fearing exposure, abandons her. Cut off from her friends, Paige is forced against her better judgment to accept the help of a young sorcerer lawyer. And she quickly comes to realize that keeping Savannah could mean losing everything else.

Industrial Magic

... Someone is murdering the teenage offspring of the underworld’s most influential Cabals — a circle of families that makes the mob look like amateurs. And none is more powerful than the Cortez Cabal, a faction Paige is intimately acquainted with. Lucas Cortez, the rebel son and unwilling heir, is none other than her boyfriend. But love isn’t blind, and Paige has her eyes wide open as she is drawn into a hunt for an unnatural-born killer. 

Haunted

Eve Levine - half-demon, black witch and devoted mother - has been dead for three years. She has a great house, an interesting love life and can't be killed again - which comes in handy when you've made as many enemies as Eve. Yes, the afterlife isn't too bad - all she needs to do is find a way to communicate with her daughter Savannah and she'll be happy. But fate - or more exactly, the Fates - have other plans. Eve owes them a favour, and they've just called it in...

Industrial Magic is my favorite of these three - the Cabals are a really interesting concept and the "whodunit" factor of this one was a nice departure for the series (or what I've read so far). In general, though, what I like about this series is how different each of the books is from one another. That's also a little bit of a complaint, since there is something so satisfying about re-visiting the same characters in most series. But the twist here, where the same characters re-appear but the focus changes from book to book, keeps things interesting and makes each book stand on its own quite well. The books build on each other, though, so its better to read them in order. Overall, I recommend these three books to any adult* fantasy fans. However, I am looking forward to the next book in the series, Broken, as it returns the focus to Elena, who has been, hands down, my favorite character.

Buy Dime Store Magic on Amazon.
Buy Industrial Magic on Amazon.
Buy Haunted on Amazon.

*Yes, there's a smattering of sex in each book, plus other adult themes.